Career Movers Series: Thriving After A Tough Employment Situation

I was raised to believe in a rational universe populated by honest, well intentioned people. I enter all situations with that mindset, but have left some shocked by a much different reality. One place where reason may not prevail, but life must go on is your career. Time will help your heart and ego heal. For now, you must be pragmatic. So, for those who may have ended their employment involuntarily, here are a few fundamental next steps. 

1.  Gather as much evidence as you can.  First, see if the employer will give you any information about how they see the situation.  You will rarely get the full set of facts as employers are uncomfortable with the conversation and worry about legal liability, but you should ask.  When you do, let them know you are asking so you can move forward assured you won’t run in to the same problem.  When you get the feedback be appreciative for their honesty and do not challenge the facts, their role in the problem or their analysis of the facts.  This is not a trial and this is not your time for a closing argument.   As you begin to process your feelings and begin next steps, partner with a trusted confidant to determine which parts of the feedback are helpful to you and which are a matter of perspective, which you do not share.  You will likely never fully agree with what the employer said and you may be tempted to argue, but don't.  There is your truth, their truth and THE truth.  It is unlikely you will understand all three.  Second, move on to finding out whatever you can about the good work you did. You may be able to use that in place of a good reference or to refute untruths about your work.
2.  Frame an explanation of what happened so you can speak of it without focusing on the negative. Keep it brief, moderately vague, and focused on whatever positives you can find. 
3.  If you know of other people who are aware of the employer’s bad behavior (towards you or others), seek them out to gain insight as to how to move forward and limit the effects of the fractured relationship. They may know people who will understand your experience and look past it. This is not permission to gossip or wallow. 
4.  When possible, do not burn the bridge, even if the employer seems to have started the fire. Exit as gracefully as possible. Even consider thanking the employer for the opportunity despite the result. That may soften the employer and benefit you in the future. 
5.  Seek alternative references from the employer. A reference can come from a colleague, non-supervising member of the organization, vendors, clients, etc. 
6.  Don’t tell everyone every detail of the story. You don’t want the story to grow a life of its own. That only leaves room for gossip and takes the focus off your qualifications and availability. 
7.  If there are lessons to learn, learn them, but don’t take the situation on as a Scarlet Letter.  Don’t take on the self doubt, blame and guilt that goes with taking this one situation and having it act as a reflection of you in a broader context.  You will get past this and it is not a final judgment on your potential or career. 

Ultimately the biggest challenge will be to move on from trying to make sense of what happened. That is often challenging. Your job is to move past it. Not make it last longer by tarnishing your reputation and the employer’s through negative talk, and find a way to reframe the experience so it gets out of the way of your next opportunity. 20% of success is what happens to you and 80% is how you respond. 

Start working on that response.