Career Movers Series: Cue The Death March - The First 72 Hours

For years I have coached people who have been given the unexpected news that they were losing their jobs. The impetus for the departure has varied, but the result is always the same. A seemingly successful, stable and confident person is shaken to the core and has to make a change they have likely not planned for or expected. My advice has always started with the same 72 hour plan. One, don’t tell anyone except the couple of people in your life that love you unconditionally. Two, tell those same few people that they need to love and care for you without negative or blaming opinions. That includes no opinions about the employer as a bunch of negativity will only exacerbate your negative feelings and muddy the logic you will need during your departure and job search. Their opinions may matter later, but for now all you need is to be loved and supported. Three, do not tell anyone else about your departure. In fact, stay away from situations where you may have to talk about work. You don’t want to be in situations that force you to lie or make sudden choices about what to share. Why be so extreme? Because no matter who you are. No matter how tough or talented you believe you are. No matter how much potential you have or money you have saved, being acted upon and forced to make a change you didn’t plan for is a big deal. You need time to work through your feelings and rebuild your sense of hope and control. The time for brainstorming career options, networking, redoing your resume, looking for job postings, etcetera will come soon, but not in the first 72 hours. If you feel like you have to do something to keep yourself busy and accomplish something, then work around the house, complete your to-do list, and exercise. Traveling works too. Go for an unexpected and inexpensive, if necessary, long weekend. The only part of your career search that you may want to do in the first 72 hours is to reach out to a career coach or to the resources provided by your company to set up a meeting for any time AFTER the first 72 hours. That way assistance is ready when you are. So after years of giving this advice and walking people through this challenging time, I had to live it. I was recently downsized from a position I loved. I still remember the few seconds between the words “Amy, Charlotte from H.R. is with us…” and “to explain some changes we are making in the department.” My stomach dropped. I’m not being dramatic. I actually had the physical sensation because my body knew before my ears did that something was about to happen. Then I had the fear I had done something wrong. Then I had the embarrassment of being told I was losing my job. Then I was sad I was leaving this great organization. Then I was mad. Then I went back to shocked and swooped over to sad. Then I went numb. That was all in sixty seconds. The next 71 hours and 59 seconds was a roller coaster ride of emotion. Thankfully I listened to my own advice. And it worked. At the end of the 72 hours I felt supported, loved, appreciated, and ready for the next wave of emotions and work.