We can get sheepish when asking someone to be a reference. For some, it is almost like asking for a loan. They avoid asking, make the request quickly and avoid eye contact. There is no reason to be so afraid. It is important to treat the request with professionalism and confidence. When asking for a reference make sure to do the following and the process should be easy.
1. Ask in person or over the telephone whenever possible.
2. Make sure to not only ask if they are willing to give a reference, but if they have any reservations about giving a glowing reference. If they hesitate or if you are worried they may have concerns, offer to follow-up via email to give them time to think about it.
3. Give the person some background on the kinds of jobs you are applying for. If there is a specific job for which you are providing the reference list, let the person know about the job and where you are in the process.
4. Offer to provide a copy of your resume for their reference.
5. Confirm the address, current title, email, and telephone number for the reference.
6. If there are certain things you want the employer to know about you, let the reference know so they can weave those messages in where possible.
Finally, once the reference has been given, follow-up with the reference to thank him and provide an update on the process. The follow-up will ensure future references when you need them.
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