Career Movers Series: Moving Past A Troubled Work Experience

Even the most skilled professional can tell stories of fractured work relationships and ugly exits from organizations. Although not all of us will have that experience, most of us will. If and when it does happen, it is important to manage the situation so it becomes an interesting story rather than a cautionary tale.


The first step is to see if the employer will give you any information about how they see the situation. You will rarely get the full set of facts as employers are uncomfortable with the conversation and worry about legal liability, but you should ask. When you do, let them know you are asking so you can move forward assured you won’t run in to the same problem. When you get the feedback be appreciative for their honesty and do not challenge the facts, their role in the problem or their analysis of the facts. This is not a trial and this is not your time for a closing argument.

Now, evaluate the information you received in the most honest way you can. Find the lessons that can be learned from what happened and either go forward vowing never to make the same mistakes again or seek coaching or education that will help overcome the deficiency.

Next, do not try to determine the “truth” of the situation. As wise people have said throughout time, there is your truth, their truth and The Truth. Uncovering the full and unquestionable truth of any situation is impossible so don’t waste energy and emotional stress to find it. Also, do not exhaust yourself and others by rehashing the story over-and-over. It is time to move on.

After you are finished with your assessment, make sure you process it emotionally so that you realize this situation was a reflection of one period in time and one unique set of circumstances, it is not a finite assessment of you as a person or a professional. Don’t take on the self doubt, blame and guilt that goes with taking this one situation and having it act as a reflection of you in a broader context.

There are additional tactical steps you must take to minimize potential damage. First, talk to your employer to find out what they will say to potential employers who call. Most will keep details simple, but make sure you know what they will say.

In some cases you will be able to pin down what the organization’s answer will be, but there individuals who could potentially give on or off record opinions when called directly. You really can’t control those situations, but you can try to lessen the damage by handling it directly. Write an email to that person and express your appreciation for the opportunity to work with him and acknowledge the situation did not go as smoothly as either side expected. Then express your hope that he can see beyond the problem situation to feel comfortable letting potential employers who may call him know that you had other positive attributes. Finally, ask him if he would feel comfortable writing a recommendation based on the good things you did while with him. He may decline, but it is worth asking. If you end up with a letter of recommendation you can avoid future awkward questions about your tenure by producing the letter rather than having the potential employer contact him directly.

You should then look for other references within the organization. They can be colleagues or other leadership who had some view or experience with your work. In addition, you should look for previous performance evaluations, notes, and emails during your tenure that praise your work. Ideally you have been forwarding those messages to your home computer all along, but if not, now is your last chance to capture them for future use.

After you have assessed the situation and managed the damage during your departure, you have two final things to do. First, design and practice your explanation of the situation so when asked, you do not falter. Your explanation should be brief (the more you talk the more you look like you are covering something) and should not lay blame on anyone (including you).

Finally, realize you may lose or have to fight harder for an opportunity because of this situation. Most people do not experience permanent fallout, but you may run in to some small fallout, particularly in the near future. Don’t panic and don’t get vindictive. Stick to your assessment of the situation, do the work to never revisit the mistakes, and be consistent with your messaging. You will soon be turning the page on a new chapter of your career.